I wonder if your son had stayed on the Mainland longer, if he wouldn’t have eventually felt out of place there too, because he does have a legitimate role in the Asian side of his family and heritage, which most Americans wouldn’t be able to understand. (Well, maybe more so in Cali, since there are so many Asians there.) Even my dad’s relatives don’t really understand what I get from my mom’s side, though, bless their hearts, they try.

Either way, it sounds like your son is really special to everyone in his family, so I would imagine that (like me) he appreciates and enjoys his bi-racial, bi-cultural upbringing, regardless of whatever identity issues occasionally arise.

After the age of 10 he took a lot of shit for looking haole. Where we live in Hawaii there are not a lot of caucasians. After awhile he developed a tough skin and an edginess for being different. We do not travel to the Mainland often, but took a month long trip last summer, visiting my relatives in California and Florida. How sad that my son felt so comfortable not being “different” and could finally blend in.

I’m not intending to criticize her, but I’m a little in awe (and clearly a little doubtful) of how close she seems to feel to the culture. I’d be really interested to know more about her upbringing — kind of “compare notes,” you know? Maybe she has some secret answer that can help me, lol.

Why do you write about China?

I’m part Chinese. My great-great-grandfather came here to work on the building of the transcontinental railroad. My great-grandfather was the godfather/patriarch of Los Angeles Chinatown. I don’t look at all Chinese, but I grew up in a very large Chinese-American family. I have hundreds of relatives in Los Angeles, of which there are only about a dozen that look like me.

All writers are told to write what they know. My family is what I know. And what I don’t know – nu shu, for example – I love to find out whatever I can and then bring my sensibility to the subject. I guess what I’m trying to say is that in many ways I straddle two cultures. I try to bring what I know from both cultures into my work. The American side of me tries to open a window into China and things Chinese for non-Chinese, while the Chinese side of me makes sure that what I’m writing is true to the Chinese culture without making it seem too “exotic” or “foreign.” What I want people to get from my books is that all people on the planet share common life experiences – falling in love, getting married, having children, dying – and share common emotions – love, hate, greed, jealousy. These are the universals; the differences are in the particulars of customs and culture.

Seems pretty reasonable to me, if you are looking for an explanation. Might be neat to talk to her one on one about it if you could though.