Hard work jeans and a swift kick in the butt

Okay, so I first started this post like two months ago, and at the time I was watching all of Sex and the City, so I thought it would be funny (or at least punny) to talk about hard work jeans instead of genes. Two months later, that doesn’t seem funny at all.

Nor is it funny how little writing I’ve done in the past week. This post was initially sparked by a discussion I had with my mom on whether or not I inherited my parents’ amazing work ethics. I guess after writing roughly 10 words in 10 days, the obvious answer is no.


(Oh, and the SATC part was going to be about how Carrie Bradshaw was always writing her column while wearing only a top and her underwear. And how I wondered if her laptop ever burned her thighs. And how maybe I should try that uniform, since it worked out pretty well for her. But seeing as it’s about 20 degrees in Cincinnati right now, I’m thinking that’s a no-go.)

As for the lack of productivity, I don’t really understand how this happened. I’d been looking forward to this week for a while, because with Andy out of town on business, I thought I’d have plenty of time to dedicate to my writing. Because, you know, usually it’s Andy’s fault I don’t get any writing done. What with all his demands, like doing my laundry for me, cooking for me, watching TV so he doesn’t bother me… Wait a minute!

Oh right, what Andy actually does is make me feel guilty when I waste my time. And while I don’t enjoy that, I realize now that it’s good for me. (Oh god I hope Andy never reads this post…) All week I’ve had no one to answer to but Riley, and let’s just say Riley doesn’t have a whole lot of complaints as long as he gets his kibbles and some play time.


So, after reading Kiersten White’s hilarious and focused blog about her hilarious and focused writing, and after hypocritically chastising Les for saying probably she wouldn’t hit her 10k/month goal in December, I am now going to stop being such a waste of life. I am going to set realistic goals and meet them. I am going to stop pretending to work and actually work. I am going to write stories that I (and anyone) would love to read and then I am going to sell them.

This is me kicking myself in the butt. Because really, no one else should have to.

Like this:





Bride and Bulgogi both start with B…


  1. I think I might need to give myself one of those…kicks. Not only have I gotten nothing done this week…I’ve gotten nothing done this month!

    You just inspired me though…to kick myself in the butt!

    PS – Sex and the city = AWESOMEST SHOW EVER!!! And now that you bring it up, her writing uniform is shirt and underwear. Never noticed that before. Maybe I should break out the DVD collection…hmm…sounds like a good idea.

    WAIT! NO! I CAN’T! I’m kicking myself in the BUTT (which is a lot harder than it sounds…in so many ways)!
    NO more wasting time for me. : )

    Thanks Kristan – you’re the best!

  2. Les

    HAH! If I can do it so can you missy. I wrote 3000 words today and I’m still going. And I’m at work but DON’T TELL ANYONE…
    Put on some awesome music, sit down in your undies and fish around in your head for a cool scene. That’s what I did… but not the undies thing. Not at work anyway, it’s all about high heels and nice pants.

    I’m rambling. GO GO GO, I’ll be cheering you on!
    .-= • Recent post by Les: Time is flying =-.

  3. Hmm, I’m not sure what to say except that if this is what you think you need to do, then go for it. For myself, I can’t imagine having a monthly word quota. And I think there’s value in “wasting time.” As Gertrude Stein once said, “It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing.”

    And by the way, didn’t you just spend a bunch of time getting your twenty-somewhere submission ready? Doesn’t seem like you’ve been lollygagging around all month.

    (AWESOME! I worked “lollygagging” into my comment! I rock!)
    .-= • Recent post by Sonja: My neighbor’s story is better than mine =-.

  4. Kim-
    Lol, glad to help. Now let’s both see what we can accomplish!

    Your secret’s safe with me. ;) AND YAY FOR 3K!!

    Well, you’re right about SMP, and I think that’s what I told myself whenever I felt bad about slacking off a bit. But I think “taking a day off” is a little different than taking a week off… And more importantly, I’m trying not to take a whole month off! Hehehe.

    But I do agree that sometimes “really doing nothing” is very valuable, AND that “lollygagging” (as a word) rocks. :D

  5. While I am sure your self-kicking will be more than effective… *kicks Kristan’s butt for good measure*

    Kicking you is basically kicking me. Because, you know, the circle goes round n’at. ;) Every time I read your blog, it’s a kick in my butt, believe it or not. Maybe I should blog obnoxiously about my good productivity days? >.>

    You know I completely know where you’re coming from. To be honest, I think the biggest boost I get when I’m down is by opening up old writing (even a year or two old) and reading through it. Even if parts of it are terrible, there’s always something about it that reminds me why the heck I want a career of doing this in the first place. (And when I read through some terrible bits, I tell myself that the fact that I realize it’s terrible means I’m better now than I was then.) Forced optimism! YES.

    SO. Go annihilate your lack of productivity with gusto! Kick butt! Wahoo!
    .-= • Recent post by Erin: Obligatory progress report =-.

  6. Get on it. I’m trying to meet a literary agent as a friend for you…okay not really–but I’m going to try so you better finish before I do!

    While I do think you need to focus more, I do also think it’s realistic to have breaks. Goodness knows, even at work, I can’t churn out stuff robotically at a set amount.
    .-= • Recent post by Angie: A love poem =-.

  7. Albie

    Lol your whole “Carrie writes in a shirt and underwear” thing reminds me of the How I Met Your Mother episode when Robin was like “she says she’s reading architecture magazines while wearing her old cheerleading outfit? Nobody does that.” i.e. I’m sure Carrie Bradshaw in real life would totally write daily in just her t-shirt and underwear =P

  8. sam

    you can catch up on your writing! we are cheering for you! :D

    and lol at the writing in your underwear comment. i have done that before and the laptop does not in fact burn your legs. just in case you want to try that technique out. heh.

  9. I love this line: “I am going to stop pretending to work and actually work,” because I do this ALL THE TIME. I complain about working non-stop, but I can’t push myself to actually sit and work for any sustained period of time. I sit and work for half an hour, get on twitter, get on facebook, work a little more….two hours later, I’ve gotten 45 minutes of work done, yet feel like I’ve been in work mode forever.

    I can’t wait to see what kind of work your new ethic turns out.

  10. Erin-
    Aww… That makes me feel better, because every time I read your blog, it’s a kick to my butt. You are SO inspirational to me. It’s great to have a friend and a peer like that. :)

    OK, let’s race: You find an agent to befriend, I’ll write a book! :D

    You never know…

    Thanks, Sam! And, haha, good to know my thighs would be safe. Maybe I’ll try when the weather is warmer.

    YES, exactly!! It’s awful. Sometimes I think it’s borderline ADD. Then I realize it’s probably just poor self-discipline. Sigh…

    (Also, just a warning, haha: I do this a lot. Kick myself into gear, go strong for a few weeks, and then slow down again, feel guilty, kick myself into gear… and so on. I figure, eventually the going strong part will become an ingrained habit, right?!)

  11. exactly how does andy make you feel guilty for wasting your time? because i would like to use these techniques on a certain husband who seems to waste ALLL of his free time… ;)

    good luck with your writing and you can do it! get back up on the horse!

  12. Hmm, not sure whether or not I should reveal his nefarious secrets… Especially since I already know you plan to use them for evil! :P

    Hehehe. Mostly he asks in a very innocent way how my writing is going, and then when I have nothing impressive to answer, he just says “Ah” and gives me a look like I just kicked our puppy.


    Thanks for the encouragement!

  13. First thank you so much for your kind words on my blog, I really appreciate it.

    Sounds like you have found a pretty special person in Andy, you are a lucky lady.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, though, the writing will come, usually when you’re too busy to sit down because our crazy life adventures are what spur our creativity, but still, it will come.

    Hugs and happy holidays!

  14. “… at the time I was watching all of Sex and the City, so I thought it would be funny (or at least punny) to talk about hard work jeans instead of genes. Two months later, that doesn’t seem funny at all.”

    LOL! Aw, I love you!

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