Because I love art, I am offering the following ideas for paintings to all struggling artists out there. Some of those artists may be thinking, Hey, I’ve got good ideas of my own. Really? Then why are you struggling?

Saturday night I decided to select an issue of the New Yorker at random from my stockpile, and I happened upon “Ideas for Paintings” by Jack Handey. I don’t know anything about Mr. Handey except that Aisha used to quote him on occasion, but the beginning of this piece definitely made me laugh. (It trails off as it goes along.)

Anyway, I’m thinking I should make it a point to read certain parts of the New Yorker online every week. I don’t enjoy having magazines pile up in my house, nor did I care about 75% of the content, but I think the other 25% is probably worth my time. Since, you know, the New Yorker is the holy grail of writing and all.

I was really blown away by this TED talk from writer and publisher Dave Eggers, the creative genius behind McSweeney’s (Angie’s literary love!). He’s adorably nervous, quite witty, and doing some amazing work. He founded 826 Valencia, a pirate supply store and free tutoring center for students. No, that’s not a joke.

Check it out:

(Er, the embedded video appears to have stopped working… Here’s the link to the TED site.)

Happy New Year, everyone!

(Yes, I know there are too many oh’s in the title. But that’s how many syllables there are in the song!)

You know, I like New Year’s traditions. I watch the ball drop, I drink my sparkling grape juice, and I kiss my guy. However, I go back and forth on whether or not to make resolutions. Like everyone else, I have a hard time keeping them.

This year, though, I decided I should make one, and only one.

WRITE MY HEART OUT

We’ll see how it goes. (You’ll see how it goes, if you read my blog this year!)

What about you? Did you make any resolutions? Care to share?

Either way, I wish you all a very happy 2009.

I’m bringing back this old format, which I’d intended to use regularly but apparently only did once. Oops.

Good: Lowkey Christmas. No wrapping paper (I think we’ll just claim we were being environmental instead of lazy) and not many surprises, but a nice time with family nonetheless.

Bad: Headache and probable sickness on holiday. AGAIN.

Ugly: At the rate I’m going, I won’t meet the Amazon contest deadline… What this may end up translating to is my own version of “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” come January. You’ve been warned.

(Note: I have neither seen that movie nor read that book, so don’t take that as a recommendation. The title was just apt.)

Sorry, this was supposed to be a more upbeat post than yesterday’s… In truth, things are good. I’m grateful for my wonderful friends and family who I love dearly, and it’s been a nice holiday.

I hope all of you are doing just as well!

Selective hearing. So when my parents say something that annoys me, I can’t hear it, and thus can’t say something back that annoys them.

Also, not to step in poo again. That was gross.

I’ve been meaning to post about Pseudonymous High School Teacher’s Helping Hands challenge for a while, and I figured what better time than right after a 20SW “Pay It Forward” episode? My ways of contributing to my community are small this year, but as they say, “Size doesn’t matter.” (Or is it “the thought that counts”?) Either way, here’s what I’m doing:

1. Donating money to my old elementary school so they can build a new library.
2. Volunteering to serve food on Christmas Day with my mom.
3. Donating winter clothes to GoodWill.

Maybe these things won’t bring world peace or cure any diseases, but I think every little bit counts. If you agree, join me and PHST and the others who started this project.

There are “rules,” but I’m putting a twist on them. Here’s my version:

1. Find a way to spread holiday cheer. Big or small, doesn’t matter.
2. (Optional) Blog about it and/or post a comment here.
3. Challenge others to do something too.

That’s it.

Happy holidays, everyone. I wish you all the best!

For this lovely free wireless!

We finished a wonderful Wedding Mania Weekend, only to endure the Night of No Sleep. Thanks to Riley, we got maybe 3 hours of “rest” last night. And thanks to this abominable cold and snow, Andy is stranded in Whoknowswhere, NY, and I’m waiting on a delayed flight out of Pittsburgh to Houston.

But the show must go on! My plan is to finish writing the next episode of Twenty-Somewhere on the plane, then pass out until we land. I’ll post the episode tonight when I get home.

I know this probably is not news to anyone, but it just hit me: DECEMBER IS CRAZY!

We’ve been to three holiday events for Andy’s work, we did our early Cincinnati Christmas last night, and we’re going to two weddings this weekend. My hand hurts from writing out driving directions: home to wedding #1 to reception #1 to home to aunt’s house to wedding #2 to reception #2 to aunt’s house to airport (me) and Andy’s house (him). Ah!

And let’s not talk about holiday gifts, or cards, or anything, because I totally don’t have any for anyone. It’s got nothing to do with the economy, although I suppose that could be a convenient excuse…

Anyway, I’m going to go hide under the bed until February (because January will be crazy too) but my plan is to have a new episode of Twenty-Somewhere on Monday as usual. In the meantime, the NYTimes reviewed Malcolm Gladwell’s new book, Outliers, and I’m intrigued. I loved Blink.

Gladwell’s latest book, “Outliers,” is a passionate argument for taking the second version of the story more seriously than we now do. “It is not the brightest who succeed,” Gladwell writes. “Nor is success simply the sum of the decisions and efforts we make on our own behalf. It is, rather, a gift. Outliers are those who have been given opportunities — and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.”

I have been told as much before, and I agree: talent alone won’t do anything for you. You’ve gotta work hard and take advantage of opportunities too.

Diane tells me she’s almost done reading Outliers and we can see a recap/review of sorts on iluv2read soon. (No pressure, Diane.)

Lately I’ve been banging my head against my keyboard for a variety of reasons — the server move and upgrade, a JBU redesign, MY NOVEL o_O — and I just wanted to say that Sabra Classic Hummus has gotten me through it all.

This is the best store-bought hummus I’ve ever had. It’s rich and creamy, as advertised, and that happens to be the way I like it! Sabra is a little more expensive (Andy the businessman tells me) than some of the other brands, but you know what? You just can’t skimp on some things, and pureed chickpeas is one of them!

(Also: computers, digital cameras, and gestures of affection.)

Please note that this is not a paid endorsement. No, my friends, this is pure and innocent love. However, if Sabra wanted to reward me for broadcasting said love, I would gladly consider money, or a lifetime supply of hummus, or some delicious combination thereof…

ANYWAY. [stops drooling and daydreaming] What gets you through those stressful days?

First thing’s first.

Administrative Whatnot: I have successfully moved servers and upgraded hosting plans. There was only one casualty [snickers at Alex] but some collateral damage was expected and is acceptable. The transition was more or less seamless, thanks to the great support team at Dayana, but please let me know if you encounter any problems or something still looks wonky. Appreciate it!

# # #

Now. I’ve had a bunch of writing quotes in my drafts area forever. Because Andy got home from his business at 1:30 am last night (thanks to weather delays and a driver that almost killed him on the highway!) and then Riley had, erm, bowel issues at 5 am, I’m just going to leave these nice quotes here for your enjoyment while I go pass out try to make the most of my day despite my zombie-like diminished mental capacity.

(Please, no Geico-like retribution from zombies, okay?)

Therese Walsh has a fun analogy for the writing process:

Maybe writing is like crayon rubbings. Do you remember those? Stick something textured beneath a piece of paper, then use the flat side of a crayon to reveal its many intricacies. Rub hard enough and long enough and over the entire paper, and you’ll see a very clear likeness of whatever lies beneath.

Diana Gabaldon talks about learning your own best work methods, and inspiration vs. perspiration:

Writing successfully is a matter of figuring out how your own brain works, and doing that—not trying to adopt someone else’s methods. And in all honesty, I think an observant person would learn much more from extensive reading of novels, than reading how-to-write books. Remember though, that the only thing that counts is getting words on the page. Anything that allows you to do that is the right thing to do.

Mind, writing depends on hard work and having a routine of some sort. It should go without saying that one doesn’t just sit around waiting for inspiration (I mean, really—do ballet dancers wait for inspiration? Cello players? Athletes? CPA’s? Why in God’s name do people think artists do that? First, you work; then the magic happens.).

At at the same time, there really is a mysterious element to what we do. We aren’t spinning straw into gold; we’re making something out of nothing at all.