Yesterday was a day of laughter. It began with highly inappropriate conversations about sandwiches. Only a couple of you reading this will actually know what sandwiches are. To the rest of you, I apologize, but needless to say, a sandwich is not a sandwich. And for the record, you cannot unwrap mustard.

Then after work I went to my writing group, and I think something about our new location Book Bums (which is a fabulous cafe/lending library – anyone in the Cincinnati area should check it out!) really set us off, because man we couldn’t stay on-task to save our lives. Okay, that’s not completely true, we did read excerpts of two people’s work and give them feedback, plus we tried to help Sarah brainstorm on the sexual identity of one of her characters. But seriously? I laughed so hard and loud for those two hours that I’m surprised I didn’t get arrested for disturbing the peace. We also came up with the best story idea ever, but I don’t want to give it away, so I’ll just say “G-Y Z–B–!”

HEE.

Sorry, this is turning into a bunch of inside jokes, and that wasn’t the point. The POINT is that by the time I got home, watched Life Unexpected (totally vital, btw) and then showered, it was 11:20 pm and I had only written 38 words on my WIP. I was exhausted (from all the laughing, naturally) and my boyfriend and puppy were already in bed looking cute, warm, and cuddly. So what did I do? I got in bed with them and went to sleep for 8 hours!

NOT.

I took a deep breath, closed my browser, and forced myself to meet my daily goal of 500 words. (For the record, I surpassed that.) Was it hard? Yeah. Was I tired? Extremely. But was it the right thing to do? Duh. Because I’d already had my fun. I’d already cashed in for the day, with all the laughing and the sandwich jokes and the g-y z–b–s. But I hadn’t earned any of that yet. The truth is, I have a bad habit of doing that — of claiming the prize before winning the race — but one thing I’m good at is making sure I pay up. (Eventually.)

Like in the first grade, when my mom told me I could have a GameBoy only if I got all A’s on my report card, but then she bought it for me six weeks before grades went home? I still worked hard and got all A’s.

Or in college, when I told myself that I’d watch one episode of Battlestar Galactica for every one page of my term paper that I wrote, but then I actually watched Season 1 back to back for hours? I still finished my paper on-time and aced it.

Or when Andy told me I should get a MacBook after I sold my first novel, but then he gave me one for my 23rd birthday anyway? Well, okay, I’m still earning that one. But believe me, I will.

Now I’m not saying this a good way to do things. In fact, haha, I think it’s awful, and that guilt is probably part of what drives me. What I’m saying is that being tired isn’t a good reason to miss a goal. It’s an excuse. And excuses don’t put dreams on ice for later; they push dreams away.

Furthermore, if you really want something, then nothing — not even getting it — should stop you from making sure you deserve it.

Today I’m over at The Solitary Panda, guest blogging for the lovely and brave Floreta while she’s in India. The theme is identity. Can you guess what I consider mine to be?

Here’s  a little preview:

The chameleon

As a young child, I had a handful of close family friends, none of whom knew each other, all of whom knew a certain version of me. Then there were my school friends. Then there were my Chinese school friends. Because I wanted to be liked by them all, I learned to act a certain way for each of them, and I started to think of myself as a chameleon, constantly changing colors.

Wanna learn about the halfie and the word nerd parts? Head on over to Floreta’s for the rest. And please show her some love? Thanks!

Update: I also posted a new JBU column I wrote about all my crazy travel at the end of last year!

I’m alive, I’m back, and I have no idea why someone searching for “poopy cola” ended up here, but I’m sorry to disappoint!

On the other hand, hiiiiiii to all the lovely people coming from Kiersten White’s blog. No, I didn’t pay her to say any of those nice things about me. But maybe I should send her some Dr. Pepper as a thank you. Being called “good strange” by Kiersten totally made my day.

Anyhoot, I spent this past weekend in Houston for my sister Alex’s wedding. I admit that going in I was quite nervous about being Maid of Honor. Would I look good? Would I walk right? More importantly, would I still be able to function after 10 hours of cropping and sorting photos for the slideshow? I had my doubts.

But the big day came and went without a hitch. In fact, it wasn’t just okay — it was perfect. My parents were on-time, I didn’t fall while walking down the aisle (although I did stumble), and oh yeah, MY SISTER GOT MARRIED.

(On a boat. Hee!)

For me the biggest hurdle (besides the thing I tripped over) was my Maid of Honor toast. I’d been stressing about it for weeks, and every time I tried to write it, I started to cry. Part of it was that I didn’t know how to describe everything I felt about Alex and her getting married, and part of it was the pressure. For some reason, when you tell people you’re a writer, they expect you to be able to write things well. Things like speeches. Weird.

I finally got my emotions under control and wrote a crappy first draft about 5 days before the wedding. Andy told me to sleep on it, and I did. But when I woke up the next day, it was still crappy, plus now it was wrinkled.

My mom’s advice was to make it funny. Unfortunately, I’m not a very funny person naturally. (See previous paragraph.) Still, I tried adding some jokes, including one about the groom speaking Klingon. After listening to me read my revised speech aloud, Andy politely vetoed the jokes. Thank God.

With about 12 hours left before the wedding, I sat down and said, This is it. I have to do it. I have to write it down, and I have to write it in the simplest, truest way possible.

And you know what? It worked. My toast was heartfelt, captured everything I wanted to say to/about Alex and Paul, and even made people laugh. (And not just because I accidentally congratulated Paul as my new sister instead of brother — whoops! I hadn’t even had the champagne yet!)

So what’s the point of all this? (Besides the fact that HOLY COW MY SISTER GOT MARRIED.) It’s that sometimes when a speech, or a scene, or a story isn’t working, it’s a sign that we’re not writing in our own voice. Yes, the elusive “voice” that everyone in the publishing industry talks about. That voice. That’s what I was lacking, and that’s what I feel like I finally understand, thanks to this speech.

The Maid of Honor toast is nothing new, but my MOH toast was completely original, because I finally wrote it in the way that came most naturally to me. If you and 3 friends go out to dinner, and some guy in a crocodile costume comes by and steals your food, you’re each going to tell the cops a different version of the same story. (The cops will probably laugh at all 4 of you, because come on? Guy in a crocodile suit? Seriously?) But what I’m saying is, everyone has a unique perspective and way of expressing it. So your historical family saga or dystopian sci-fi thriller might not be the first of its kind, but if you write it in your voice, it will be fresh. If it means something to you, it will mean something to readers too.

And that’s the key to good writing: making people care.

…

(Also, contrary to what this post might have you believe, I realize that my sister’s wedding is in fact about her, not me. I was only writing about one small element of the event, an element that I thought might be relevant to this blog. It was by no means the most important. In fact, it wasn’t important at all. Aren’t you glad you wasted your time reading this? :P)

Alright, I give in. I don’t like to make a big deal about these (maybe because half the time I say I’m going to do something, it’s unrealistic so I end up not doing it and thus start to look/feel like a failure??) but it’s hard not to be infected by the New Year bug that’s going around the blogosphere.

So, 2009 was pretty decent (you know, despite the biggest economic depression in decades, and a bunch of famous people dying) but I’m hoping 2010 can be even better. For my part, I “resolve” to:

1. Get an agent.
2. Rebuild my savings.

That’s it. Simple. (Hah!)

What are your resolutions?

(Psst: If you’re a blogger and already blogged about this, you could just comment with your link.)

Continuing with the Best of 2009 Challenge…

December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

December 25 Gift. What’s a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

December 26 Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

This one is simple, and the answer is the same for all three prompts:

Writing is, and always should be, fun. (If it’s not, I’m doing it wrong.)

I could elaborate, but… why? Sometimes the best lessons are the simple ones, the best gifts are the small ones, the best insights are the obvious ones.

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Merry Xmas, y’all! And if you don’t celebrate Xmas, well, don’t tell this little doggie, okay? ;)