… and this:

… and this:

… and a guest post for Writer Unboxed in which I say something a bit shocking:

Some people might view the change in my goals as a lowering of standards. For me, it’s about understanding and accepting my limits. I mean that in 2 ways. First: Neither literary acclaim nor blockbuster sales are within my control. That’s just the reality. And that’s okay. Second, and this may also be a reality: I might not be cut out to be a professional writer. After a lot of internal struggle, I realized that’s okay too.

To be honest, that post started out a bit differently. The point wasn’t just that I might not be cut out to be a professional writer, but that most people probably aren’t. However, it seemed safer/kinder to focus on my own soul-searching, and then let people see themselves in it (or not).

Also, to be clear: I’m still working towards publication. It’s just that I’ve realized publication shouldn’t be the benchmark for my happiness. If it is, I may or may not ever be happy. But if I focus on the writing, and I let that be its own goal, then I can be happy right now.

(Overcoming a mindset of 15 years is easier said than done, though.)

…

Andy and I spent this past weekend back in Pittsburgh. It’s where we went to college, where we met, where we fell in love. The city is a beautiful mix of brick, metal, and glass — of old and new — of buildings short and tall, all standing shoulder to shoulder, dotting the hillsides. Nearly a dozen bridges lace back and forth across the river, and on a clear night, the downtown lights shine like fireflies.

(Unfortunately I didn’t get any good pictures of the skyline, so you’ll have to take my word on all this.)

It was nice to visit again, after so many years. But also weird. The trip stirred up a lot of feelings and memories, both good and not-so. I’m not even sure how to put it all into words… so for now, I’ll use photos and focus on the good.

The food — Pamela’s, Primanti Bros, Fuel & Fuddle, Coca Cafe

The fun — Penguins playoff game, the Toonseum

The fabulous — two of my dearest friends getting married to each other

Five years later, at a chic Italian bistro in the North Beach neighborhood of San Francisco, Andy says out of nowhere, “I think my favorite thing in the world is traveling with you.”

 Classic San Fran icons.

I’m obsessed with jellies.

Typical SF houses in the Mission District. (I felt like I was in Lola and the Boy Next Door!)

Andy realizing that 300-400 ft. trees are really, really tall.

I could not stop thinking about the boats commercial from HIMYM…

Me and Riley wishing everyone a very happy Valentine’s Day! Don’t get caught up in the couple-y stuff. Just spread love. After all, it’s the most wonderful and powerful force there is. :)

Now it’s time to ring in a new year. I might write a more detailed year-in-review post later, I might not. Bottom line: 2011 was a leap of faith, and then the freefall. In 2012 I hope to fly.

I shrugged. “It is in Houston.”

Sometimes it feels like Andy and I have been to a million weddings and should, as a different cousin once said, be “married by proxy.” Sometimes it feels like we are.

Of course there’s no way to know exactly what the future holds. We can only hope and dream and talk and plan. And when things change, we adapt. Together. That’s how we’ve gotten through 6+ years. It isn’t magic.

Or maybe it is.

(Answer: The kind who also mixed up baking soda and baking powder once, with the result of rock hard cookies, and who also didn’t know there was a difference between whole wheat and whole grain.)