For those who missed Part 1, I have recently returned from an awesome week in little old Gambier, OH.

So, what did I actually learn at the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop? Well, without divulging too much of the KRWW’s patented teaching techniques, let me see if I can give you an idea…

“If an idea strikes you as absurd, go for it.” – Geeta Kothari

Prompts are not the pointless, ineffective little monsters I thought they were.

“You’re always looking for trouble in fiction.” – Geeta Kothari

A story needs conflict/tension and stakes…

“Lists are your friend.” – Geeta Kothari

…and will benefit from objects, a ticking clock, and at least 3 characters.

“When you’re writing about big things, it’s best to focus on the trivia/trivial.” – Geeta Kothari

Write a story you can contain. Bigger is not always better.

“You cannot find the absent in the absence.” – Jason Gray
“There’s an art to everything, even leaving.” – Carl Phillips

Poets are so darn poetic!

“Editors read for reasons to quit reading.” – David Lynn

Getting published is tough noogies. But it’s not impossible!

That’s the week in a nutshell. OBVIOUSLY there was a lot more to it than that, but if it were that easily conveyed, they (a) wouldn’t be able to charge $2k for it, and (b) wouldn’t bother having a workshop. They’d just print the rules somewhere and celebrate because everyone would now rock at writing! Alas, you must go and experience for yourself.

(And by “alas” I mean “YAY!”)

Bottom line: if you’re trying to improve as a writer, but you don’t want to go back to school (or don’t know if you do), then I definitely recommend the KRWW.

I remember when I heard there were returning students, and I was all, “Seriously? But it’s so expensive! But we’re in the middle of nowhere! But there are no agents!” (Note: I’d only been on campus for approximately 17 minutes.) By the middle of the week I was wondering how many times I could return before they’d declare me unteachable and ban me for life.

People go back because it’s a fun, friendly environment that nurtures growth. Both concretely, through the classes, and abstractly, through the setting and community. Yes, it’s a little pricey, but I am now completely convinced of its worth. I mean, when else are you going to have the awesome editors/staff/writers of a top-tier literary magazine focused on you?!

(On that note, I’d like to say thanks and give a shout out to: Tyler M, Anna DR, Jay T, and David L! Geeta too, but she was my teacher so she already knows I love her.)

One thing to note is that the KRWW is different from many other writing workshops and conferences. It’s not about schmoozing. Yes, you’ll meet and “network” with the KR staff and the various workshop teachers (who are all published, respected writers and poets) but there are no agents, no editors, no pitch sessions. You don’t bring stories that you want to work on. The KRWW is about understanding and improving your instincts and process as a writer. You will produce a new (short) piece every day. If you can take the guidance and critiques, you will improve.

So just keep that in mind. I don’t have the experience to say that this approach is any better or worse than what the schmoozy workshops do. I think it’s just different. In some ways it’s less direct (you won’t meet your future agent) but in some ways it’s more so (because you can’t get an agent unless you write really well). Just think about what you need and want most at this point in your life/career, and whichever kind of workshop/conference you end up at, make sure you make the most of it.

Well hello again! I’m back from the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop, and boy was it a doozy.

Before I go into that, let me take a moment to thank my AWESOME guest bloggers. Pseudo, Floreta, and Andy, your posts were insightful, enjoyable, and all-around fabulous. Thank you so much for sharing your unique voices and thoughts. Hopefully this won’t be the last time!

Also, welcome to all the new readers! I’m flattered that you’ve chosen to stick around. Please make yourselves at home, and chime in whenever you want. We’re friendly around these parts.

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Now, let’s talk about the writers boot camp workshop. I’ve promised not to give away all their trade secrets, but it really was an amazing week, and I’d like to share a few of my experiences.

First, welcome to Gambier, Ohio:

Um, yeah, that’s pretty much it. Like, the whole town. I mean, there are houses and stuff too, but this two-block square constitutes “downtown” Gambier. There’s a market, a bookstore, a couple restaurants, a post office, a clinic, and some campus administration buildings. There is NOT ONE SINGLE STREET LIGHT. When I first arrived and realized this was home for the next week, I wasn’t sure I’d make it. But by the end, I must confess: I was in love with little ole Gambier.

(The perfect weather didn’t hurt either. Even the one night it stormed was absolutely gorgeous, with dazzling lightning streaking the sky.)

This is Finn House, home base to the Kenyon Review:

After signing in, I dropped my stuff in the dorm and then went out to “orient” myself. Which was oh-so-hard to do in a two-block town… Needless to say, I had a little time to kill before the welcome dinner. Somehow I ended up at the happy hour for teachers and their assistants. Awk-ward. But everyone was friendly, so it turned out just fine.

At the welcome dinner, I decided to sit with students my age, and that pretty much determined the rest of my experience. Six of us bonded quickly, and in just a day or two we became known as “the posse.” Four of us were in the same class (Fiction for New Writers with Geeta Kothari — which ROCKED) and the other two were poets.

Here we are, hard at work in the bookstore after the first day of class.

The daily routine was: class in the morning (3 hrs), lunch, “free time” (i.e., goof off and then SCRAMBLE TO WRITE time), optional movie sessions, dinner, readings, and more “free time” (i.e., OMIGOD IT’S MIDNIGHT ALREADY? I ONLY HAVE 100 WORDS time).

Here’s the hilarious and adorable Rebecca McClanahan (who taught the Creative Non-Fiction workshop) giving her reading.

Gambier is a very dog-friendly place, so even though I was missing Riley something fierce, I had plenty of puppy love to divert my attention.

As the days passed, I found myself producing better work, but more slowly. Socializing may or may not have played a role in that… *halo* I plan to post some of what I wrote at the KRWW over the next few weeks, except the piece I chose to read because I’d like to get it published. If you’d like to hear it, though, my friends taped my reading. (Warning: audio is a little hard to hear.)

Thursday was probably the peak of the week. After that, the lack of sleep (6 hrs, 3 hrs, 5 hrs…) started to get us, and our writing too. Still, every day was a blast. It was like summer camp, in the sense that you know your time is limited so you bond and divulge far more quickly than you ever would under normal circumstances. I of course got teased for being lame. Joe even said, “You have the least street cred of anyone I have ever met.” Doh.

(Although if that puts me in the company of Taylor Swift, then maybe it’s not so bad. Check out “Thug Story” if you haven’t already! It’s hilarious.)

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. On Saturday we said our goodbyes, but we also celebrated our new friendships with one last hurrah.

As Zara said, “Things we are good at: writing. Things we suck at: jumping in unison.”

The posse, in order L to R: Adorable, General Druncle, Speedy, The Wildcard, Poet Laureate, and Grandma.

(All pictures from the week can be found here in my Flickr set.)

Another workshop participant, Kirsten Ogden, posted her (more poetic) take on the week at the Kenyon Review blog. One of the quotes is mine — can you guess which? (Angie and Mengfei aren’t allowed to play ’cause they’ve read the story!)

Nope, Riley has nothing to do with the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop. But I sure do miss him!

Anyway, I’m alive and well and writing/learning lots. More details when I return. (I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday, and at the same time only Wednesday…)

Coming up I’ve got one more guest blog, as well as the next episode of Twenty-Somewhere. So stay tuned!

A lot of people say a blog should have focus. There are tech blogs, mommy blogs, fashion blogs, etc. So what does my blog fall under? Um… Yeah.

When I first started blogging 15 years ago — no, seriously, at age 9 I coded every post by hand in Notepad then uploaded the html file to my Geocities or AOL Members page — I was just venting. There was a lot pre-teen/teenage/college-age angst. Sometimes I tried to make it “poetic.” Mostly it was about boys. Of course.

When I graduated, I decided that having all that angst floating around The Interwebz was not a good idea, since I wanted to have a successful career in a semi-public arena. Amy Tan doesn’t get stalked like Kristen Stewart, but some writers do become celebrities of sorts, and I just wanted to be cautious. So I started this blog/site with the idea that it would be a combination of personal and professional, a record of my journey to becoming a published author.

However, two years have passed since I graduated college with my B.A. in creative writing, and so far, no publications.

So now I’m thinking about refocusing my blog: How NOT to Become a Professional Author.

I’m only half joking! I have a lot of bad habits, and personality traits that are not conducive to the solitary, self-driven lifestyle of an author. As I work through them, I figure it might be good for me and other aspiring writers to see what they are. After all, the first step to solving a problem is identifying it, right?

So, #1 on the list: Lie down on your couch to read a book, and end up falling asleep while cuddling your puppy. This is absolutely guaranteed NOT to help you become a professional author. Because you can’t write, edit, or query an agent with your eyes closed, your brain off, and your face full of fur.

You CAN, however, look quite restful and cute.