The book had been more difficult to write than she expected. The swirl of important ideas and powerful epiphanies seemed diminished on the page. They became fixed words and were no longer fresh internal debate. Still, she finished, and was excited and nervous to see what people would think, how her work might change their lives. It could have a ripple effect. She did not want to get her expectations up too high, yet writing about personal discovery could prove to be her calling.
And then she could not find a publisher. She kept sending out the manuscript and received only rejections or never heard back. It had been a waste of time to write the damn thing. She was going to throw it in the trash–it pained her to see it, this big lump of wasted time. But then she reconsidered. She was stronger than that. It wasn’t a failure. She simply had not come out of the jungle yet. She needed perspective. She needed to revise her life before she could revise her book.
No more excuses about obligations. No more thinking she was indispensable. She bought a ticket for Paris. On the plane, she conjugated verbs that would soon have real meaning: Je crie au monde. J’ai crié au monde. Je crierai pour que le monde m’entende. I will shout to the world to hear me.
- Amy Tan, Saving Fish from Drowning, p 459
I love that I spent all week anticipating Andy’s return from Germany, doing everything possible to make his homecoming pleasant and relaxing — i.e., laundry, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing, bathing the dog, etc. — and not thirty minutes after he arrives, he gets stung on the toe by a wasp.
>_<
Speaking of unfortunate events, Lemony Snicket was on ABC last night. I enjoyed it even though it was kind of sad the whole way through, I suppose because there was an undertone of comic relief and optimism. Both child actors were excellent — I even think I would have preferred Liam Aiken as Harry Potter — and of course so was Jim Carrey, despite being rather creepy.
Anyway, since I just watched the movie, it seems fitting to post my favorite part of an interview with Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket), which I read a few days ago.
I use a quote a lot that Miles Davis supposedly said to John Coltrane when John Coltrane was in his mode where he would get up and he would solo for five hours. And he was playing with Miles Davis, and Miles Davis said, “Um, you really, you have to keep those solos shorter because we’re trying to have an evening.” And John Coltrane said, “I don’t know what to do. I just put it in my mouth and I keep playing and I don’t know how to stop.” And Miles Davis said, “Take the horn out of your mouth.”
And I always think that when I’m too in love with my own work that I feel that I can’t change it. You know, when I think, “This passage is too long, but every sentence seems glorious. What in the world can I do?” And I think, “Just take the horn out of your mouth.” There is in fact a way to change something. And the fact that you feel sad about it is not necessarily an excuse.
Eat Drink Man Woman is a GREAT movie!!
Very Asian, very cute, very real, very unexpected endings.
I should keep it in mind for The Good Daughters revision… Aiya, that stupid revision is going to kill me.
