Andy: Please tell me you are not seriously crying over a cartoon.
Me: {sniff sniff} It’s not just any cartoon! It’s EPIC. Andy: …
I finish sniffling, shut down my computer, and get into bed.
Me: You just don’t understand. You’re not a romantic. Andy: I am too! Me: Oh yeah? How so? Andy: I am a tiny insect that bites people and lodges under their skin, and I was born in the capital of Italy. Me: You’re a Rome ant? Andy: No, I’m a Roman tick! Me: …
Andy: Okay, this isn’t fun anymore. Me: [turns around from computer] What? Andy: I’ve been dancing around the kitchen trying to see how long it would take you notice. It’s been over four minutes.
Me: Do you think it matters if I use your shampoo and body wash for a while? Andy: No. Well, you’ll smell like a boy. Me: True, but no one smells me. Andy: I smell you! Me: So? I’ll still smell like a nice, clean boy. Andy: I don’t want to smell a boy in my bed, no matter how nice or clean he is…
Inspired by ThingsMyBoyfriendSays.com, I decided to start recording some of my conversations with Andy. This is from Sunday night.
Me: I KNEW you were going to say that. Andy: How? Me: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because we’ve been dating for three and a half years? Andy: Fine, then what am I going to do RIGHT NOW? Me: … Andy: I’m going to snort your arm!
[proceeds to try and snort my arm]
Andy: Can you feel that? Me: NO! Your nose does not create enough suction for me to feel it on my arm.
[tries harder]
Andy: Can you feel that? Me: No! Andy: Really? Because now I’m actually blowing my nose on your arm.
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Beautiful and confident Sophie Lin, goody-goody aspiring writer Claudia Bradford, and boy-crazy scientist MJ Alexander are ready to tackle work, love, and life after college -- or so they think.
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