Plus or minus

Note: This was written for Nathan Bransford’s “Secret Year Teen Diary Contest Extravaganza!!” It’s just an exercise, not a full story or a final draft.

…

Dear Diary,

Two minutes never felt so long.

While I sit on the toilet to wait (with the lid down, of course) I can’t help thinking of all the ways my life could be ended by a mere mathematical symbol. In two minutes, I’ll either see a plus or a minus. Suddenly tomorrow’s calculus test doesn’t seem so intimidating.

If it’s a plus sign, my mother will kill me. And if she doesn’t kill me, she’ll definitely disown me. She’ll cut me out of every photo, throw away all my medals and straight-A report cards, and never speak my name again. She won’t be sad about it either, because a person can’t be sad about someone who never existed. She’s very practical that way.

Madeline would become an only child at home, and the pregnant girl’s little sister at school. Thank goodness she has such a good group of friends. But she’ll still have to face a few snide remarks, jeers from the people who are jealous of the perfect life they think I lead. If anyone can handle that, it’s Maddy. I’m just sorry to be the one putting her in that position.

And then there’s Garrett… How should I tell him? What will he say? What will he do? In a perfect world, he’d hug me and kiss me and tell me everything will be okay. But obviously this world is far from perfect.

If I’m being realistic, Garrett will probably just freak out and yell at me. And why shouldn’t he? This will ruin eighteen years of his hard work. Valedictorian, scholarships, MIT… To lose that would be to lose everything. How could I have been so stupid, to let him risk his whole future, and for what? Sex?

Oh geez, time’s up. I can’t look. But I have to.

I’ll give it thirty more seconds, just to be sure.

Please, Diary, please let it be a minus.

xoxo,
Grace