One of the first assignments in my Kenyon Review Writers Workshop class was to write “postcard stories.” Geeta (Kothari) assigned us 5 random postcards (from her personal collection!) and a certain phrase to incorporate into 1 of the stories. This is what I came up with.

Note: the 1st one fell TOTALLY flat. I mean, after I read it aloud, you could hear a pin drop, in a bad way. But, haha, that’s okay. I just wanted to try something different.

Joan,

Can you believe they sell this card in the gift shop? I guess it’s sort of funny… but why is there a gift shop in a loony bin anyway? It’s not exactly a teddy bear kind of place, you know. (Plus they wouldn’t let you keep a teddy bear. I think Martin once smuggled in pistachios that way. He’s a serial suicider too.)

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that the doc says I’m showing improvement. Well, he didn’t say it, but I saw him check off that box on my chart yesterday. Maybe I’ll see you guys at Thanksgiving after all?

Smooches, C

PS: Martin is allergic to nuts.

Hi! Xing:

This is your Ahyi. Can you guess where am I? China? Taiwan? No! Florida. Here they have a fake little China. Very funny. Your uncle bring me here for our anniversary. 25 years, can you believe? Don’t worry, someday you will find such good fortune too. Much better than Michael. He is chao pi dao dan. Besides, you are much more pretty than these girls. Just don’t wear glasses. Cheer up!

– Ahyi Lin

Dear Mom,

I am fine. Dad brought me to this park. He says it’s a vacaytion. We saw a fat squirrel. He gave me $1 for candy but I bought this card insted. The lady at the counter said she will mail it for me. I hope you get it OK. Dad says I shuldn’t talk to you, but I don’t think this counts. I miss you.

Love,
Eric

Dearest Marianne,

Worst. Trip. Ever!! Karl is a total diva, and he even sassed an exec during the pitch. There’s NO WAY we’re getting this account. And he knows he blew it.

So I better go console him with whiskey or something… See you on Friday? Till then, think of me in that slinky red number.

XOXO
Sylvia

Hey Natalie,

After a week of Basic, it’s clear: I shouldn’t be here. Tell Mom and Dad I’m coming home on Saturday. I’ll figure out some other way to pay for college.

Amelia