Sunday, December 7, 2008
Can you support your friends/loved ones without supporting their specific views or actions?
Yes. You have to, because no two people are going to agree on everything. I also think there are deal breakers. Certain character traits are acceptable by some, not by others. For instance, I cannot be super close with someone who is really, really cheap. Not frugal, which I totally am, but cheap. As in takes advantage of others to save themselves money. It’s a deal breaker.
Having said that, I have learned not to give advice unless it is asked for. People will only hear what they are ready to accept about themselves.
— phhhst’s last blog post: Friday Foto: Thanksgiving and Living, Being There
I feel this is something we do daily, although the “issues” at hand are minor. I’m guessing you’re referring to major ideology though, in which I’d like to say, my parents and I get along just fine ^_-. I think phhhst has a good point though about advice (although I think with best friends you can tell it like it is).
I guess my breaking point are those who never see beyond their viewpoint, as in are never willing to understand what others feel/think.
— Angie’s last blog post: Britney Spears, no longer just BS
Yes, you can.
Haha, I’m still working on the not-giving-advice-until-asked-for thing. But hmm, yeah, deal-breakers. I hadn’t thought of it that way.
Yeah, I am referring more to a major idealogy (like different religions) or major action (I dunno, seeing 2 movies with 1 ticket).
Omg yeah hate when people who aren’t willing to at least TRY to see the other side, even if they don’t end up agreeing.
It depends. (Haha, typical law student answer, huh?) For most things, definitely. You’re never going to totally agree with everything that someone else says or does. You just have to sort of look past it and see your FRIEND, and not the decision that you disagree with. But, obviously, each person are going to have those internal lines that trigger the cut-off of “I can no longer support you” thing.
(Also, you should be REALLY GLAD that I just deleted the essay I’d started to write about supporting your friends versus their major ethical violations. Because, apparently, I have spent too much time studying for my professional responsibility exam.)
LOL. I wasn’t so much thinking about it in a professional or legal way, but… I’ll be more careful what I tell you. ;P
Humorously, my main example had to do with a hypothetical friend hiding notes in the bathroom outside the exam room for a closed book exam, and then taking, like, five bathroom breaks during the exam. (Note: not based on any of my friends.)
Somehow, I don’t think anything you could tell me to measure up to THAT. :-P
Also, and this might have something to do with it — I had coffee this morning. For the first time in months. (I don’t take in much caffeine these days.) And cinnamon rolls. Coffee + hazelnut creamer (mmmm) + sugar + cinnamon rolls + icing… I’m not hyper; I’m just sort of, um, chatty.
Haha, duly noted. As maid of honor, I will ensure that you do not drink coffee on your wedding day. Otherwise your vows might turn into some sort of filibuster!
Give your advice, and should they not change their mind…Picture in your mind how you would kill them for not agreeing to your profound opinion and then change the subject….works like a charm every time. lol
Haha, that’s a bit intense of a solution for me, but it sounds like you’re more or less answering the question with a “yes”. :P
Yes. I’ve had to do this many times. It kind of sucks, but it’s a fact of life.
Yeah… I also wonder about the question from other angles, like (a) being the friend, or (b) a third party who knows your views aren’t in line with your friends (or who doesn’t know and assumes they are).
Yeah I think so… I’m notoriously bad for being pigheaded and sticking to my own opinions but even I can offer simple support with no strings attached to it.
— Les’s last blog post: Naked Star Wars
Hehe. I’m an interesting combination of frustratingly stubborn and yet open-minded…
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