Forgiveness

Regardless of what you think of the Twilight books or movie or author, I think you should be able to appreciate the awesomeness of the soundtrack. Well, if you’re into alt-rock/indie stuff, anyway.

My faves are Rob Pattinson’s two songs, as well as “Eyes On Fire” by Blue Foundation, “Bella’s Lullaby,” “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse, “Go All the Way” by Perry Farrell, and… okay, you get it, I love them all! But in seriousness, I think the lyrics of “Leave Out All the Rest” (by Linkin Park) have stuck with me the most.

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don’t resent me
When you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest

Leave out all the rest

Regardless of what it’s supposed to mean in Twilight (blah blah, Edward’s soul, not wanting to be a monster, blah blah blah) for me it’s about forgiveness.

When I look back at certain people in my life, I don’t want to remember only the times and the ways that they hurt me. Because who does that help? Not me, not them, not anyone. Whatever lessons I needed to learn from those experiences, I did, and forgiving them won’t make that disappear.

It goes the other direction too. Despite my best intentions and efforts, I know I’ve hurt people. When they look back on me, I hope they see more than bad times. I hope they remember the times I made them laugh. The times I made them think. And of course, the times I asked what they needed and did my best to give it.

Even if we never speak again, I hope we can forgive.

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Because I’m sure people are wondering, no, there’s nothing going on in my life right now that sparked this post. In fact I started writing it a while ago, back when I was listening to the Twilight soundtrack non-stop a lot.

That said, occasionally I do still have dreams about the only two people I’ve ever “cut out” of my life. As with all my dreams, they’re usually weird — involving spies, sea monsters, or other such nonsense — but they also include an attempt at reconciliation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it’s just a dream.

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At the end of the day, I wouldn’t necessarily change what happened, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to accept.