Dreams

Last night I fell asleep imagining all the things I want in life. I pictured my future home, with granite countertops in the kitchen, the breakfast bar where I will work in the mornings, the sunlight filtering in through the windows. I pictured the big grassy backyard where my dog and kids will play. I pictured the book signings, the emails and phone calls with my agent and editor, the special shelf in my library for my own covers to be displayed.

It’s not easy for me to talk about these things, because I am a bit superstitious. I knock on wood after I make jokes, afraid to jinx the good things or foretell the bad. I believe there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I do my best to stay on the right side of that line because I believe in karma.

But I subtitled this blog “writing dreams into reality” because that’s what it’s about — what I’m about. I’m working hard to turn my dreams of being a writer into my reality. And I transform many of my “dreams” (ideas) into real, written-out stories. That’s all I’ve wanted to do since I was 9 years old, and I hope to do it until I’m 90.

Sometimes it’s a slog, let’s be honest. Sometimes I would rather be sleeping, or going out with friends, or eating a pint of ice cream on the sofa while watching Grey’s Anatomy. Sometimes my back hurts, or my wrists hurt, or my neck hurts, or my eyes hurt. Sometimes I can’t think of a single good word, much less a whole sentence. Sometimes I get so tired I could cry.

But it’s those times that my dreams matter most, and that’s why I’m sharing them now. As a reminder to myself that I’m working towards something tangible, even when everything seems out of my control and about as real as Tinkerbell. As a reminder to any of you who have dreams that you shouldn’t give up on them. Dreams are part of what make life worth living.

Did I think that by 24 I’d have found a wonderful man I want to marry? Or that I’d have the bestest, cutest dog in the whole world? That my friends and family would still be supporting, encouraging, and inspiring me every day? That I would have an editorial team interested in my stories?

No, once upon a time, those were just “silly dreams.” But now here I am, and here they are. And that’s how I know there’s more to come. That’s how I know that if I can dream it, I can achieve it.

And I will.


22 responses to “Dreams”

  1. Les Avatar

    Yep, you’re darn right you will! Positive thinking can do amazing things.

  2. Sonja Avatar

    The distinction between “dreams” and “goals” is pretty fine – if it’s there at all.

    Your self-imposed deadline for the 20SW submission came and went, didn’t it? Did you get it out in time?

  3. T.S. Bazelli Avatar

    I think sometimes people sell themselves short by not dreaming big enough! Dreams are so important.

  4. Liz Czukas Avatar

    There is great power in writing these things down. As powerful as those superstitions (which I share with you, by the way). So, good on you for doing it. And keep going. You’re already doing wonderfully.

    – Liz

  5. Shari Avatar

    Love this. LOVE.

    It’s one thing to keep those dreams inside, but to turn them loose and work hard to make them take shape, that’s another thing entirely. Sometimes I think envisioning the future is one of the best forms of motivation we have, especially as writers. We spend so much time crafting our characters’ worlds, and it can be so helpful to think of the ways we so badly want to craft our own.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  6. Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist Avatar

    I love this post. It is so important to dream and dream big. Even more important? Saying it out loud…making them real.

  7. Kristan Avatar

    Sonja-
    I agree, but I decided not to get into dreams vs. goals in this post. ;P

    Today is the deadline, and technically I haven’t met it yet, but I think the universe just conspired to make me put my money where my mouth is…

    T.S.-
    I agree. Sometimes it’s scary to dream big. But I always figured, hey, maybe if you aim for the moon you won’t quite make it, but getting to the stars is pretty amazing too.

    Shari-
    Hehe, don’t you wish you could write your own life story sometimes? Then again, that could be dangerous…!

    Rebecca-
    Yup. And not being *afraid* to make them real. Fear is sometimes the biggest problem, even more so than money or skill or opportunity.

  8. Amanda Avatar

    So good and so true Kristan! I think most people end up missing out on what they really want just because they don’t dare to dream about it and definitely not to say it out loud. You’re an inspiration and I have no doubt you’ll reach the moon, not just the stars.

  9. Kimberly Franklin Avatar

    All dreams seem a little silly until they become a reality. Just keep thinking positively. It will happen! :)

  10. Frank Avatar

    You inspire me. Thank you.

  11. Kristan Avatar

    Amanda and Frank-
    Aww… *blushes* Thanks for the vote of confidence.

  12. Jon Avatar

    Just be glad the world of Inception doesn’t exist and Leo DiCaprio isn’t coming to steal those dreams, haha. Have you seen it yet?

  13. Kristan Avatar

    As a matter of fact, I did. :) I know you didn’t care for it all that much, but I thought it was incredible. Visually and conceptually. There were some elements of the characterizations that could have been stronger, but that was something I was willing to overlook in this case.

  14. Samantha Bennett Avatar

    Dream on, amiga! I feel a little silly saying my dreams aloud too, but it’s good for the soul. :)

  15. Trisha Avatar

    Wait what? Tinkerbell isn’t real? But I clapped and clapped!

  16. Sarah Avatar

    Awesome. I tell everyone (I obviously like repeating myself) about how much I hang onto your coat-tails (hang on for dear life). You inspire and motivate me and, yes, the universe is giving you a kick up the arse. Better listen. :)

  17. J. P. Cabit Avatar

    Follow the rainbow, Kristan. At the end is a pot of gold. And a short, creepy redheaded Irish man doing a jig. (But we don’t talk about him…)

  18. Kristan Avatar
  19. michelle woo Avatar

    Great post. I’m superstitious like that, too. But you’re right, it’s so important to put it all out there to the universe.

  20. Meghan Ward Avatar

    You go, girl! You’ll totally make it happen. And I found this post very inspiring. It made me want to sit down and write another book.

  21. Angela McConnell Avatar

    I understand the superstitious fear that comes with announcing your heart’s desires to other folks, but I’m finding that there’s a lot of power in stating exactly what you want…and then going after it. I really enjoy your enthusiasm and reading about your hard work. Kudos for finishing your proposal (and a sample chapter!). I have no doubts we’ll soon be reading about your great news soon.

    Best regards,
    Angela

  22. Kristan Avatar

    Thanks, and hi, Angela!

    “I’m finding that there’s a lot of power in stating exactly what you want…and then going after it.”

    Exactly. I think instead of worrying so much about jinxes, I’d be better off harnessing that power. It’s still scary, but now in an optimistic way. If that makes any sense…