So apparently yesterday was April Fool’s Day. Of course, I wasn’t really thinking about that when I opened my Gmail. I was thinking something more along the lines of, “Oh thank Google! I missed you so much!! I’ll never leave you ever again!”
As I browsed my oh-so-important emails (i.e., Xanga subscriptions, calendar notifications, and reminders about my live fantasy baseball drafts) I noticed something in the top right corner of my screen. Next to the Help and Settings links, there was something bold. And red. And with caps!
“NEW Gmail Custom Time!”
Just one clickity click, and then I saw in all its unscrupulous glory: Gmail added a back-date feature. Now you can pretend you sent that email to your boss on time, even though you were really reading Go Fug Yourself and lost track of time.
At first I was all, “Seriously? That seems… strange.” And then I said, “Hmm, but so useful!” But after a few more seconds of deep thought, I was all, “OMG Google that is SO unethical!!”
But Google defended itself: You can only use this back-date feature 10 times. More than that would be an abuse of power. And would probably rip a hole in the space-time continuum.
So then I said, “Hmm, okay, makes sense.” But after a few more seconds of deep thought, I was all, “LIMITING THE ABUSE DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER!!”
I sat in my chair on the verge of tears for several gut-wrenching minutes, wondering what I should do now that Google was the enemy and clearly all obligation to law/society was null and void. Run a red light? Rob a bank? Open someone else’s mail?!
Then it dawned on me: this is Google’s April Fool’s Joke. HAHAHA!
I immediately messaged Alex and told her what a dope I was — as if that were a big surprise — and she was all, “OMG you are so dumb!!!”
Then she said, “But at least it’s not as bad as the time you fell for, ‘Donka shain means the gorillas are coming to take over the world.’”
… Yes, Alex, at least it’s not that bad.
(Today’s attempt at a humor brought to you by Dooce.)