First I’d like to say that there’s nothing quite so scary as driving along an unfamiliar interstate (supposedly a tollway but with NO booths in sight) half past midnight when you’re low on gas and can’t stop thinking about how much your surroundings look like where they filmed the Blair Witch Project.

Until, of course, you get lost in the shady drug-trafficking district of a small town in Pennsylvania and all you really want to do is find your aunt’s house where there’s a bowl of candy, Simply Orange juice, and a plush freshly made bed waiting for you.

Yeah, I had a great Saturday night.

This weekend was a marathon of socialization: Andy’s work party; dinner with Hilary, Jane, Janey, and their significant others; and visits to 2 of my aunts. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed all of it. Usually that much conversation makes me feel awkward and tired. (But then again, when do I not feel awkward and tired?)

I think my big takeaway was, Wow, these are all BIG people.

To clarify, let me share with you some advice my father passed down to me when I was in second grade and trying to explain to him what a bully Ernst Leiss was and why he totally deserved my pushing him into the mud that day.

Big people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and little people talk about other people. Don’t be a little person.

Though I don’t always succeed at living by that credo, I think Andy’s coworkers and my old professors do. They really impressed me with how disinterested they were in gossip or anything of that nature, and how much they knew about politics, books, music, history, etc. They seemed so cultured, so intelligent, so well-spoken. On the one hand it made me wonder if I was truly fit for their company; on the other, they were all so friendly and inclusive that I felt more mature and adult, and I aspired to seem/speak/be worthy of their attention. I assume I did alright, since I didn’t get kicked out of anyone’s home, but I’m pretty sure I have a ways to go.

(Note to self: continue to work on seeming/speaking/being worthy of cultured, intelligent, adult attention.)

Hilary, Jane, and Janey also provided good tips about how to keep focused on my writing, and encouragement that I should. That’s particularly helpful to me in this moment, since I feel like I’m in an emotional and professional slump right now. I guess a dozen rejections on one short story will do that to you…

BUT that’s a dozen more reasons to finish “The Eraser” and “Lost in the Albaícin” and get those into submission circulation too.

Just keep trucking, Kristan. Just keep trucking.

4 responses to “One of these things is not like the other…”

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