I’m in trouble. And an idiot.

On his business trip to Ireland last month, Andy bought me a beautiful but simple necklace, the first piece of jewelry he’s ever given me, as well as a lovely shepherd’s hook bookmark with a tiny (I’m talking TINY) four-leaf clover in the charm. I instantly loved both.

But this was not the first time that I’d had a shepherd’s hook bookmark. Once long ago, I found one that featured a gorgeous jeweled rose at the end of the hook, which hung over the spine of a book like a flower on a vine. I bought three of the same kind, one for me and each of my two best friends, Alex and Amanda. I felt like this created a special bond between the three of us — even though the two of them never really played together unless it was at my birthday party.

Well, I took said Precious Bookmark of Sisterhood to school one day. As I was waiting for my notoriously late mom to pick me up after class, I decided to read to pass the time. I opened my book, delicately removed the bookmark, and gently laid it on the stone bench beside me. Anyone who has seen me read — on planes, in class, in the middle of a bar while people are heckling a football team on screen — knows that I can completely disappear into a book. Heck, I’m oblivious even when I’m not reading! Needless to say, that was the last I ever saw of that bookmark.

I cried the whole night. My mom told me to stop being stupid, it was just a $7 bookmark after all. (Although, seriously? She let me spend $21 on bookmarks?!) But I insisted that I had broken the eternal bond of friendship between me and Alex and Amanda, and my life was ruined.

Note: Alex and I are still close as ever, and Amanda and I are meeting up when I go home for the holidays in a couple weeks. Yes, clearly I broke the eternal bond of friendship by losing the bookmark.

Fast forward back to today. Or rather, Sunday. When I was reading in the middle of a bar while people were heckling a football team on the screen in front of me. (Oh, you thought I was kidding?) Well, that was the last I saw of the bookmark Andy brought me from Ireland.


The next day I called the bar no less than five times, to no avail. I figured they probably weren’t going to check the parking lot, so today I decided to drive down myself and search. I wanted Andy to know how important this was to me, that I valued his gifts, that I wasn’t a careless idiot!

About five minutes into the drive I realized Andy would probably prefer that I not endanger myself and our dog by speeding through the pouring rain. Oops.

But I was too stupid stubborn desperate to give up and turn around. So while Riley whined in the back seat — have I mentioned he doesn’t like car rides? — I plowed ahead. Again to no avail. After an hour of driving, ten minutes of bugging the bar employees, and fifteen minutes of searching the parking lot in the rain, still no bookmark.

Edit: Also, do you know how moronic you feel telling people you’re desperately searching for a bookmark?? Not a wallet, or a ring, or kid, but a bookmark.

Moral of the story? I suck. And should never get a shepherd’s hook bookmark again. Or least never use it outside the safety of my home.

Got any stories of your own idiocy to cheer me up?

15 responses to “Confessions of a desperate idiot”

  1. Jenny R. Avatar

    I was reading over your site and like what I saw. I just wanted to say keep up the good work.

  2. Trisha Avatar

    Older and wiser says….stick the bookmark between the back cover and last page while reading the book. Doesn’t make for as cool of a story, but…..when your kid (the two-legged kind) is in school and when you purchase pictures that come with a nifty bookmark/picture and your kid thinks it’s really cool his mom uses it when she reads and you don’t want to ever, every lose it and….(I think I need more coffee).
    If that is the most sentimental/valuable thing you ever lose-be thankful.

  3. Ann Victor Avatar

    Saw your entry on Nathan’s blog competition. It’s excellent, intriguing and well written. Good luck!

  4. Krista Avatar

    I’m sorry about your bookmark. :(

    Last year for Christmas, Will got me a pair of diamond earrings. I normally wear these earrings every day (wearing them right now!), but when I’m not wearing them, I lay them on my vanity with my makeup. I hate to lose them in my messy jewelry box. One day I was putting on make-up and Will came in with a lint-remover, one of those sticky roll kinds, and ask that I please de-lint that back of his golf shirt (we have three cats – lots of cat hair and lint end up on our clothes – ew). It took about three sheets and when I was done with one sheet, I’d put it on my vanity and move on to the next one. At the end of the de-linting, I balled up the sticky paper and threw it away.

    Hey, guess what stuck to the paper when I put it down on my vanity? You betcha. Luckily, I was able to find them (after tearing apart my house, trying to find them before Will got home from golf). I was digging in the trash can when it occurred to me, and my diamonds were wrapped snug and secure in a piece of cat-hair covered lint paper.

    Will almost NEVER gets me anything nice or expensive, because I always lose things. I hardly ever take these earrings off, or my engagement ring, because it will be certain misplacement. ;)

    — Krista’s last blog post: seconds

  5. Angie Avatar

    Well, you know all of mine, especially embarrassing myself in front of others :/

    — Angie’s last blog post: The paper drooling begins

  6. Erin Avatar

    I lost my Queen Amidala bookmark once. My parents bought me the bookmark (upon my insistence) shortly after Star Wars: Episode I came out. I used it extensively. It was in my copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire during the summer of 2000 when I worked at a local camp and I was bragging and showing off the book that I’d read the same day it had come out. I also decided to sketch a picture of Queen Amidala in my sketchbook with colored pencils, first by memory and then by looking at my bookmark. (The latter earned oohs and aahhs from the ten year olds who thought I was an artistic genius… I didn’t dissuade them. Needless to say I was addicted to that bookmark and have been for years.

    Then, last summer, I lost it. I left it in a book I returned (half-read, naturally! Damned due dates!) to the NYPL and I literally started crying when I told Bryan what happened. He thought I was crazy. But he considered that this being a Star Wars bookmark, well, it should have been a crazy he saw coming. I moaned about it for a day or two then quietly told myself, “You have Anakin and Legolas… more recent acquisitions but still, you have other bookmarks you like.”

    Two months later, Bryan and I were in the library, picking up several books on hold. The cashier turned around to find something on the shelf and I looked down at the countertop. Underneath the plastic protective shield of the counter was a (slightly battered) Queen Amidala bookmark, with the top triangle of plastic folded down protectively over the cardboard image of Queen Amidala… I almost squeaked. In fact, in my haste to point this bookmark out to the cashier, I might have appeared a little frantic and possibly crazy. The guy shrugged, dug it out, and handed it over. No questions asked. I giggled, somewhat madly, all of the way home.

    Unless the bar patrons or workers (or the random sidewalk guy) are not very honest, it might turn up. Keep looking! <3

  7. Kristan Avatar

    Thank you!!

    Aw, a D-mug. :) I don’t remember seeing that…

    LOL! That story actually cheered me up quite a bit, because I can TOTALLY see that happening in this household too.

    Haha, touché.

    Your story also makes me feel better. Also: NERD! Lol, not that I’m one to talk. I have Star Trek bookmarks I used to use exclusively…

  8. Aisha Avatar

    Haha $21 on bookmarks, no kidding.

    I’ve lost tons of things, it’s always a really bad feeling no matter how small the thing is. Most recent story: 3 days ago when I was boarding my Rio-Paris flight I completely forgot to check in my cute hot pink fiskars scissors. I wanted to go back and see if they could get my checked in bag so I could put them in there but I had already passed immigration and there was no going back. The security guy tried to make me feel better by showing me that he was actually throwing them away.. UMM I would rather someone use the scissors than have them go to a landfill. I am soo pissed at myself for not checking them in :|

  9. najla Avatar

    Well, speaking of getting lost in books… When I lived in Connecticut, I went to visit Jessica in Pennsylvania once. It was about a 6 hour drive from my place to her school.
    On the way home from visiting her, I was listening to my book on CD (w00t!) and pulled over at a McD’s to grab a drink and use the bathroom. Got back on the road, settled in listening to my book. About 2 hours goes by and it seems like things look… funny. And familiar… Too familiar…
    Turns out, I had just driven for 2 hours in the direction I had come from. I promptly pulled over, cried, and called my mommy.
    (I’m SUPER AWESOME at getting lost!)

  10. Kristan Avatar

    Aww. But yeah, haha, I don’t know HOW his throwing them away would make anyone feel better…

    Um, is it inappropriate that I’m totally laughing at you right now? :P (I’d have cried too, though.)

  11. najla Avatar

    Kristan, it would be inappropriate if you weren’t laughing! That shit is HYSETERICAL!! Hi, I’m an idiot. ;]

  12. Adam Avatar

    I lose just about everything. I left my crew jacket on the train between Prague and Vienna. I can just imaging some lucky guy walking around with a CMU Crew jacket who now goes by the name “Adam”.

    (If you see this person please take my jacket back)

  13. Kristan Avatar

    Haha, will do. I used to leave things at friends’ houses all the time, but that’s not as big a deal as a random train in Europe…

  14. phhhst Avatar

    So sorry about your bookmark. My husband left the house for a few hours in the middle of the day a year ago. He left the upstairs window facing the street open. Someone climbed on our roof in broad daylight, went in through the window, and burglarized our home. Taking all my jewlery I had ever accumulated (mostly pieces given to me by now passed on relatives). They also took my two cameras passed down to me by my uncle, who had been a camerman for universal studios and a professional photographer. I was sick about it for a long time.

    — phhhst’s last blog post: WANTED

  15. Kristan Avatar

    Yeah… my bookmark is nothing compared to what you lost. I’m so sorry. :(