Letter from a disgruntled pup

Dear Momma,

Yesterday I turned 3 years old. But apparently you don’t care, because you didn’t even blog about it until Dad (posing as me) told you to. That’s fine, I see how it is.

Well, maybe someone else will appreciate me. Hey guys, if any of you are interested in an adorable, snuggly, 25-lb. guard dog who can sit, stay, lie down, come, roll over, play dead, shake, catch, and bow, I’m available!

I also make good art…

Savannah Day 2 020

I can carry stuff…

blurry Cincinnati Xmas 007

And if you take me to work, I will increase your productivity (or at least your popularity).

Riley at work 001

Send me your best offers! Bribes are accepted. I prefer kibbles, Frosty Paws, or a thick juicy stick/steak (either one will do).

Love,
Riley

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13 Comments

  1. Aww, I wish I could bring either of our dogs to work. At least I get to hang out with them when I work from home!

  2. Les

    Happy Birthday puppy!!!

    p.s. tell Kristan she needs another one!

  3. Awww… Your dog is beautiful.

  4. Ingrid

    Dear Riley,
    My mom forgot my birthday, too. It was way back in June. I’m still waiting for a stick, steak, or extra trip to the dog park to make up for it. I tried telling her that apologies and hugs and kisses just weren’t going to cut it, but she mistook my grumblings for playful pup-biting. Humans. Oh well, just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
    Rocket

    PS Nice wall art.

  5. Angela

    Soooo cute! I am in love with the photo of Riley on his bed at work!

  6. Happy Birthday Riley!

    What a cutie pie :) That art’s going on the fridge right mom? hehe

  7. Stop your whining. I turned 12 years old last week, and do you think anyone gave a rat’s ass? No. And I would have enjoyed a rat’s ass too. Sounds tasty. I’ve had the same parents for all twelve of my birthdays, and I think those losers only did something for *one* of my birthdays. And by something, I mean they freshened the water in my water bowl before they headed out the door for twelve hours straight – which, by the way, resulted in me staring at the front door with my legs crossed for the last three hours thanks to all that fresh water.

    So please, really, get over it. I’d kill for the bed in that last picture. Plus you’ve got toys. TOYS. You lucky little shit.

  8. Riley

    Todd-
    I wish my momma worked from home more…

    Les-
    Thanks! And I will. But s/he must be my size or smaller. Your dogs would terrify me.

    Maimoona-
    Why thank you! *preens*

    Angela and T.S.-
    Thank you!

    Rocket-
    Dude, I feel you. Humans don’t understand anything. And we’re so clear with them too! I mean, don’t they speak dog?!

    Liam-
    Whoa buddy, got some anger issues there? (This probably won’t help, but Momma laughed at your comments. OUT LOUD. Isn’t she mean?)

  9. Joelle

    Humans are just forgetful creatures sometimes. But rest assured that it was not on purpose. Your momma loves you (she told me this)and besides now you can use the guilt to get extra treats and maybe new chew toy. :)

  10. So, so cute!! :)

  11. Jon

    Hilarious post! He’s so cute…

  12. Trisha

    Bad mommy. Sit. Stay.

  13. Oh. His little vest backpack thing. He is… so cute.

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