TV Talk: “You’re my person” (or: The real love story of Grey’s Anatomy)

Spoiler level: Low.

For a few years, the writers of Grey’s Anatomy maintained a blog, and every Friday after a new episode aired, the writer of that episode would post about it. I loved that blog, and all the extra insight/entertainment it offered. I also — surprise surprise — loved to leave comments, telling the writer all my critical (but not necessarily negative) thoughts on their episode. Because, obviously, they needed and wanted to know.

Well, I certainly wasn’t the only delusional person who thought that. Hundreds upon hundreds of fans would leave long-winded diatribes that some poor intern had to sift through. Besides “loved it!!” or “hated it, ugh,” mostly what they said was, “Why aren’t you giving more screen time to MER/DER?!??!11?!?!1!?!”

Personally, I never felt like we needed to see more of Meredith and Derek (sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G). Yes, I enjoyed their love story over the first few seasons, but then I noticed the bigger, better love story: Meredith and Cristina.

Grey’s Anatomy
9.02 – “Remember the Time”

From Day 1, I think “Mer/Cris” is what this show has really been about. Not in the lesbian sense (although I’m sure some viewers wouldn’t have minded that) but in the BFF sense. Through affairs, drownings, miscarriages, weddings, shootings, and now a plane crash, Meredith and Cristina have always been there for each other. “You’re my person,” as they like to say.

What does being someone’s person mean? Well, whenever I think of Meredith and Cristina, I am reminded of this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love:

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

That is why I don’t care whether or not Mer/Der get lovey dovey time in every episode, or whether Cristina and Owen get back together.

Look, we have plenty of romantic stories to choose from. There is no theme more prominent in television, movies, books, or music. And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for romance. But true friend-love? Two people who would lie, risk their careers, jeopardize their lives, do almost anything for one another — and not because of sex or marriage, but simply because they truly care for and understand each other that much?

That’s what I want to see more of. That’s what needs more screen time.


  1. Is that blog still around? I need to request more MER/CRIS bed scenes.

    Not sure I agree with that quote about soulmates, at least not if that’s the extent of it. Actually, no I don’t agree with it even if it isn’t. A soulmate, to me, might very well point out what’s holding me back but I would not describe that person as “smacking me awake.” There are people who do that for me, and they are certainly helpful — at times — in my life, but my soulmate doesn’t smack me around, not even figuratively.

  2. Sonje: Good point. I can imagine the reactions of some of my characters if I assigned them a “soul mate” who took that approach to the relationship. (Note to self: possible story idea here… )

  3. Sonje-
    Heh, nope. They stopped – probably b/c they got more “feedback” than they wanted.

    It sounds like your main objection is to the word “smack,” in which case I would say you’re getting hung up on semantics.

  4. I agree with everything you said. The Mer/Chris relationship is definitely the most interesting part of the show.

  5. Great post. I haven’t watched the show for some time, but I always found the relationship between the group of friends, particularly Meredith and Christina, more interesting than their love interests.

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