A random thought about love (hearts and keys)

Maybe when we’re born, there is a hole in our heart, and it’s already a certain shape. Meanwhile, our personalities are like uncut keys, but every experience begins to whittle us away. (Leave us damaged?) And so, in our youth, we are able to fit into many hearts, or be fit into by many keys. But as we get older, the grooves and ridges become more unique, and eventually we can only unlock one heart, and be unlocked by one key. The “soulmate,” so to speak.

(Note: Statistically there’s probably more than one person with whom we fit, but still, a small number.)

I dunno, there’s something both comforting and yet also sad about the idea of a “perfect fit.”

Of course, it might all be a bunch of mumbo jumbo, lol.

(Also, can you become someone’s soulmate? Doesn’t love, the good kind, grow? So does it have to be “perfect” right away, or can it evolve into that?)

For me, stories often grow out of these random thought-question seeds. So I ponder these sorts of things all the time — and not just about love, but about everything. Love, greed, forgiveness, justice, death, etc. That’s normal, right?

(Andy says: “No.” Well, normal for a writer, then?)

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14 Comments

  1. interesting analogy =) too pharm’d out to give a good response right now though :P

    first!

  2. Hehe, it’s okay. And, haha, I’m stupidly honored to have someone competing to be “first” commenter on my blog. :P

    I got a thoughtful response via a private Facebook message that pointed out that the hole in one’s heart probably isn’t static, that it too probably changes as we grow. So not only does a key have to fit, but it has to evolve in parallel with the heart.

  3. Julia

    What happens when the key wears down, as keys are want to do, and doesn’t open the heart anymore?

  4. I’ll be honest. I’m not a big fan of these overly hyperbolic love metaphors. It’s simple– relationships either work, or they don’t. I know there’s a certain element in the human experience that expects that SOMEONE out there is perfect for you, but the truth is, love, like any other emotion, is just one that either occurs or doesn’t.

    I don’t mean to sound so cynical or bitter. It’s just that for all the single people and people too busy, poor, struggling, etc., it seems unfair to them to deluge them with idyllic scenarios of romance when you least expect it, romantic-comedies being the worse at this.

    Nothing against you, of course. :)
    .-= • Recent post by Kevin Johnson: CHILDHOOD REVISITED – THE SECRET OF NIMH =-.

  5. Julia-
    I don’t know. :\ As I mentioned, someone on Facebook messaged me and pointed out that the heart shape almost certainly can’t be static/unchangeable, since people change so much as we mature. So maybe the relationships that work are the ones in which the heart “wears down” in parallel to the key.

    Kevin-
    Heh, well I don’t know if I think any relationship is simple, BUT I agree: rom-coms and hyperbolic metaphors don’t necessarily do real people any favors. I debated posting about this, but ultimately it’s a personal musing, not a personal stance. I don’t necessarily subscribe to the key/heart thing.

    But it’s pretty popular in fiction… ;P

  6. Mary

    I don’t know about the key/heart thing. I think that might be an okay analogy for what attracts people to each other in the first place (although I’m not sure that even young people have “unformed keys” or hearts – even as a teenager, everyone I knew had pretty decided personalities and wants and needs).

    But, as others said, people change over time. I think relationships of long-standing work because the people in them fundamentally want them to. That’s not to say that two people who want to be together are always going to make it work. But it does mean that two people, no matter how well-suited in terms of personality, will not be able to make a relationship work in the long term if they don’t actively want it to.

    In many ways, love is a choice. I choose to be in love, and stay in love, pretty much every day.

    (And I think the exact same thing holds true for friendships, too – it’s not just romantic love that requires work and chemistry.)

  7. In many ways, love is a choice. I choose to be in love, and stay in love, pretty much every day.

    I love that. (I choose to love that? Lol j/k.) But seriously, I think in general your comment is right on the money: the key/heart fit doesn’t necessarily mean it WILL work, only that it could. The rest is up to the owners of those keys/hearts.

  8. I say it is totally normal to ponder these things, especially for a writer.

    From a later age perspective, I’d say love grows. survives. sometimes thrives. Love waits out the winter where it can seem dead, only to find new grwoth when the sun comes out.
    .-= • Recent post by Pseudo: Pink Princess Birthday =-.

  9. Aww. I think I’ll take your word over my musings. :)

  10. “Also, can you become someone’s soulmate? Doesn’t love, the good kind, grow? So does it have to be “perfect” right away, or can it evolve into that?”

    yes, yes and yes!
    .-= • Recent post by alexa – cleveland’s a plum: providence house phriends group happy hour =-.

  11. I don’t agree with your love analogy, but I do agree that writers think about things. Some writers tend to think about concepts, such as love, and how to get their characters to illustrate that concept. Some writers (like me) tend to think about characters and then find out which concepts/struggles/issues fit those characters. And some writers think about action (or plot) and then try to come up with characters and concepts that will fit with the plot (I’m trying to infuse my writing with more of this).

    I see writing as a puzzle. How you start the puzzle is specific to the writer, but we all end up sitting around and thinking, “Hmm, does this piece fit here? What piece goes with that piece? This one? No, THIS one. Okay, now…”
    .-= • Recent post by Sonja: Oh, by the way, I broke Quinn’s arm last week =-.

  12. Ah, now THAT analogy I do agree with, Sonja! I approach stories differently every time, but it is usually one of those 3 ways, and absolutely it’s a puzzle I’m working out in my head. I love the way you put that!

  13. Diane

    I had something to say, but after reading all those comments, I don’t remember what it was anymore :P. Doodedoo…let me think of something new to say since I’m already here. Well, I tend to think of random analogies all the time–even though I’m not a writer.

    I do commend you for trying to diligently write everyday. A few days ago I had to submit a 6 page summative reflection in which I was supposed to talk about everything I’d learned in that class. I felt like the class was a waste of time and didn’t feel like I learned much, so it was really hard to fill 6 pages. After I’d written in fits and bursts, I finally managed to hit the 6 page mark. I didn’t even want to re-read it…just wanted to turn the thing in. The thought of sitting down and writing everyday…I’m not even sure if I could commit to a daily blog post!

  14. Yeah, haha, writing every day would definitely be a chore if it were for projects like that. In theory, I love it, because I love the stories I’m working on. :P

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