Truth: I haven’t felt this frustrated with myself in quite a while.

As I mentioned last week, today marks 1 month since the Major Publisher told me they would be interested in my ideas for revising Twenty-Somewhere. They didn’t give me a deadline, but I thought I could hammer out my ideas in 1-3 weeks. And maybe I could have. But I didn’t.

Instead of making excuses, to you or to myself, I’ve been looking at what I can do to prevent something like this from happening again. “Something like this” meaning my failure to meet a self-imposed deadline. My failure to sail full-speed toward the lighthouse of opportunity.

(To clarify: No, I didn’t miss my chance. I can submit my proposal to the Major Publisher whenever I want. But I do think the longer I take, the more I may fade from their mind.)

At the end of the day, it comes down to time management. Did I write, or did I check Google Reader for the 100th time? Did I write, or did I let myself sleep in? Did I write, or did I sit with Andy and Riley on the couch to watch a sports game I don’t care about?

You can probably guess what the answers to those questions are.

So it’s time for some change. What change(s) exactly, I’m not sure. More caffeine? Less internet? I don’t know, something. Bottom line: this dawdling simply will not do.

To quote The Little Mermaid: “I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something’s starting right now. Watch and you’ll see, someday I’ll be…”

A bona fide author!

23 responses to “Transformation (without the evil sea witch, or the awesome singing voice)”

  1. Les Avatar

    I hear you. I sat on the couch, went for lunch, watched anime, read, slept, ate and did EVERYTHING but sew.
    .-= • Recent post by Les: Weekend Wrap and Winner! =-.

  2. Sonja Avatar

    Hmmm, not to be too blunt, but you didn’t do it because you didn’t do it. I don’t think there’s any mystery to it. I don’t do things all the time… until I do them. I also used to indulge in wasting a lot of time beating myself up for not doing things (this was usually a great way to enable myself to continue not doing them while simultaneously getting people to feel sorry for me and tell me it was okay). If it needs to get done, do it at your next opportunity. And that’s that. As Robert Frost wrote: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
    .-= • Recent post by Sonja: Dear Kristi: I have lost weight =-.

  3. Kristan Avatar

    But apparently you did make a print… ;)

    You, blunt? NEVER. :P

    I agree with you that beating oneself up is a waste of time, and I usually don’t do it. But in this case, it’s not one bad night or even one bad week. It’s a month of wasted time. I think that merits some self-evaluation.

    That said, even in the past hour I’ve done quite a bit on the proposal that I’m happy with. Now to continue… :)

  4. Kimberly Franklin Avatar

    You can do it!! But I know how you feel. I’ve been in a funk for a while now. It’s not good, but it’s life. So don’t beat yourself up about it, just fix it. (Easier said than done, right?)

    Good luck!!

  5. S0BeUrself Avatar

    When I first started writing the internet was my greatest enemy, followed by a close second by the refrigerator. Now I’m older with more on the line, and nothing stops me from writing except spending quality time with my family…You’ll get to this point eventually, but wouldn’t it be great if you wrote not because you had to (overlooking the inner drive), but simply because you should? Good luck!
    .-= • Recent post by S0BeUrself: Plotting: Part I =-.

  6. Emily Jane Avatar

    I’ve found that when we have these deadlines it’s so easy to turn into the Queen of Procrastination. But I agree with Kimberly – don’t beat yourself up about it, just fix it. Very well said! And this may definitely be helped with more caffeine :)
    .-= • Recent post by Emily Jane: Tattoo: The Results (AKA: Epic Fail) =-.

  7. T.S. Bazelli Avatar

    What are you doing blogging instead of writing hehe?! I know my biggest distraction is the internet. I must restrain myself from blogs and twitter as much as possible. Getting better at the self control though. You can do this! :)
    .-= • Recent post by T.S. Bazelli: Author Aerobics: Character Voice Challenge =-.

  8. elissa janine Avatar

    Sometimes I give myself ridiculously small goals. Write twenty-five words. I find I can keep that up a lot more easily than I can transform myself. Because really, at the heart of it, I am a slothful creature that wants to avoid pain and the possibility of failure. But even I can’t fail at writing twenty-five. Or thirty. Aw, heck, I’ll do an even hundred.

    (also, I mean, writing synopses? DEATH. I’d probably clean my kitchen linoleum with a single toothpick to procrastinate doing that!)

    .-= • Recent post by elissa janine: Of course it’s not you, Mom… =-.

  9. Mike Chen Avatar

    One of my other writer pals installed that application that does a mandatory block on internet access. It forces you to write your novel (or whatever else you’re focused on). It worked well for her.

    Sometimes it’s just getting that inspiration, though. Maybe try thinking about your 20SW characters in a totally different situation, see how they react, and how they got there. Could create a spark or get the creative juices flowing.
    .-= • Recent post by Mike Chen: Music for Opening Credits =-.

  10. Kristan Avatar

    Aw, let’s de-funkify together?

    Yes, yes it would be great. :) Can’t wait till I’m at your point, hehehe.

    Emily Jane-
    Got my Coke ready to go! ;)

    Shhh! But yes, internet is Evil. Self control is Hard.

    elissa janine-
    LOL to the toothpick comment. And {hugs} right back at ya. You’re right, small goals is a good idea. Sometimes doing “just a little bit” leads to “whoa! that was a lot bit.”

  11. Kristan Avatar

    Way to comment RIGHT as I’m responding to other comments, thus making me look like a meanie for ignoring you. >P

    I have “Freedom” installed on my Mac too, and it IS wonderful. IF you can bring yourself to use it… {halo}

  12. Jon Avatar

    Sometimes good things take time. So, relax and process. I know modern society tells us otherwise, but it is OK to go slowly.

    After all, according to Bertrand Russell, “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
    .-= • Recent post by Jon: The Netflix Thing =-.

  13. Meghan Ward Avatar

    Ah, good timing. I just posted my self-sabotage report. Did you keep track of yours? Like tracking spending and counting calories, I think writing down everything you do instead of writing is a real eye opener, especially if you’re writing it down (ie aware of it) AS you’re doing it. Then you can’t say, “Where did the time go?” because you know exactly where it went. We’re all doing this, by the way, so don’t feel bad!

  14. Sarah Avatar

    No, darling, dawdling will not do! (now, I’m off to take my own advice.)
    .-= • Recent post by Sarah: Clint, from AAA, you saved my life =-.

  15. Kristan Avatar

    Good point.

    {hangs head in shame} No, I didn’t keep track of my self-sabotage. I mean, I was more aware of it this week, but I didn’t actually write it down.

    Sounds to me like you had a pretty good excuse for “dawdling” last night!

  16. Samantha Bennett Avatar

    Ariel has such wisdom. :) I love your attitude! You just gave me a nudge to get going already. :)
    .-= • Recent post by Samantha Bennett: Why Hello There =-.

  17. Meghan Avatar

    oh man. i feel the EXACT same frustration with myself right now. time to shake out of it and Get Some Work Done!
    .-= • Recent post by Meghan: The Most Successful Person Ever In The World =-.

  18. Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist Avatar

    The eternal “it’s time to buckle down” problem. Sounds like you need to get yourself into a new writing routine. 1 hr in the morning? 500 words at lunch? Something small(ish) and tangible.

    I know you can do it!
    .-= • Recent post by Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist: Giveaway and interview with novelist Leah Stewart =-.

  19. Jay Eckert Avatar

    I know what you mean, Kristan. It’s hard enough to write when all you have is your own self-imposed deadline to ignore. You only feel as guilty as the hour or so before you go to sleep. But when you have a self imposed deadline based on a publisher’s open ended deadline, well… Nuff said. :-) You’ll get through it. Soon enough, you will be… part of their world.
    .-= • Recent post by Jay Eckert: Write What You Know–Kurt Chambers =-.

  20. Kristan Avatar

    LOL Jay. Nice pun. It was right there and I didn’t even think of it.

  21. e.lee Avatar

    Sometimes I write a false cheque to myself and out it on my desk- just the mere sight of (imaginary) money is motivation enough heheh
    .-= • Recent post by e.lee: Alien-ation =-.

  22. Kristan Avatar

    LOL interesting tactic. I may have to give that a try sometime…

  23. Jeff Avatar

    Keep Up The Fight! I have found that if I allocate certain times of the day in which I must write, even if just for two hours, then I blaze past my quota. You can say, this will be my only time in the day for writing so if I waste it, I won’t be able to write again. This adds a lil urgency to your fingers. Good Hunting!