Memories of another time

Sometimes the best things in life are accidental.

I remember 8-counts, dizzying pirouettes on the dusty cafeteria floor, and waiting with my heart beating in my ears. I remember the shock of hearing my number called. I remember being annoyed with my friend for backing out, and then not caring when I realized she had inadvertently done me a favor.

I remember that tickling sensation in my empty stomach every time I stood in the wings. I remember the bright lights of the stage. I remember all the faces in the bleachers. I remember the cold air against my skin as I listened for the music. I remember the damp grass, the scratchy Astroturf, and tense fingers gripping my shoulders during kick line.

I remember the first time I had to change clothes in a locker room with forty other girls. I remember wishing I knew more of them. I remember the relief of finding two best friends, and the safety of our corner. I remember the loud laughter, the dirty jokes, and the high, girlish shrieks. I remember sharing bobby pins and eye shadow. I remember the smell of perfume sprayed above our heads, and the stench of sweat after long hours of practice.

I remember jealousy, insecurity, admiration, exhilaration. I remember crying after being told I wasn’t good enough. I remember telling my friend not to bother, when she offered to help. And I remember changing my mind, deciding that I had to try again, even if I failed again, because giving up was worse than not succeeding. I remember my second chance, and I remember my redemption.

I don’t dance much anymore, but I remember.

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5 Comments

  1. It’s a bit strange how things that were so important to us can fade into the background. Much of my childhood was consumed with horseback riding. It’s now been over 15 years since I’ve been on a horse.

  2. Jon

    Hmm…very poetic. Were you a cheerleader in high school?

  3. LOVE the pictures/images you chose to describe…made me feel like a dancer too. I’ve always admired athletes, dancers, craftsmen, etc. To be able to make something with your hands or move your body in a beautiful way is magic. Still, if I had the grace and coordination to do these things, I might not have to imagine them so much. Sometimes imagining is more satisfying than doing. But only sometimes.

  4. Sonja-
    Did you?? I’d love to hear more about your riding days. I loved horses, although I only spent a summer riding. I still think I’d like to own a horse someday, maybe share it with a few girlfriends or something.

    Jon-
    Not exactly. I was on the dance team. We performed at the halftime of every football game, and some basketball games, and then we had dance competitions in the Spring.

    Sarah-
    Thanks. :) Don’t give me too much credit for the grace and coordination department though, lol.

  5. beautiful! it’s nice to remember.. memories are something to treausre

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