Made a bad choice? Still breathing? Good. Choose again…
— Melissa Stewart (@MelissaOnline) January 24, 2013
Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer. — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2013
You have such a limited amount of time to do EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted to do. I’d start today if I were you.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) January 25, 2013
You know what is so satisfying about reading a newspaper? There isn’t a “comments” section below the article to ruin it. — Jeff DeCoursey (@jeffdecoursey) January 25, 2013
Some days I write because I love the process. Some days I write despite the process because the story wants to be.
— Shannon Hale (@haleshannon) January 30, 2013
the only real writing advice is a weary shrug and “fuck if i know, give it a shot” — thats enough, robert (@robertjbennett) January 31, 2013
I know it’s probably shocking given how much unsolicited advice I give, but there is SO much unsolicited advice I hold back, it kills me.
— Dahlia Adler (@MissDahlELama) February 1, 2013
KEEP CALM AND WHY ARE WE USING ALL CAPS TO CONVEY THIS MESSAGE — Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) February 5, 2013
I hate when shows say they contain “adult situations” but no one is shown cleaning the house, going to work or paying their bills online.
— Ms_WhateverVanessa (@Ms_WhateverV) February 8, 2013
The internet: Where people are determined to argue with you even when you pretty much agree with them. — Natalie Whipple (@nataliewhipple) February 8, 2013
We got a cab. The driver asked us where we wanted to go. I said “to Matt Damon.” *silence*
— Scafe for Senate (@erinscafe) February 9, 2013
I know most of you are writing toward publication, but writing w/out any real goal in mind is important too. Keep something just for you. — Sarah LaPolla (@sarahlapolla) February 9, 2013
People who can get 600 points in Words With Friends probably need more friends and less words.
— Jamie Ford (@JamieFord) February 11, 2013
I don’t like Nascar but it would be funny if Senators had to dress like the drivers so we could see their corporate sponsors #sotu — Dave Krupinski (@DaveKrupinski) February 13, 2013
Explaining the situation of our transgender friend to the 4yo is going okay except she keeps referring to this person as a Transformer.
— John Moe (@johnmoe) February 20, 2013
I’m not saying I’m batman but answer me this, have you ever seen me and batman in the same room? — Aaron Kilby (@kilby76) February 23, 2013
Dear my writer friends, I hope you succeed. One day I want to say “I knew that person before they were huge. I knew they’d make it.”
— T. S. Bazelli (@tsbazelli) March 1, 2013
Last week a kid asked: What’s the biggest challenge in writing a book? For me, it’s fighting through fear and self doubt day after day. — Lisa Schroeder (@lisa_schroeder) March 9, 2013
“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”-Banksy
— Caitlín R. Kiernan (@auntbeast) March 11, 2013
Can we just talk about the word “queue” for a second? Like, how many of those letters are actually necessary? I count one.
— Amber Scholl (@AmberScholl) March 26, 2013
“Tell us in a sentence what the book is about.” This request leaves me flabbergasted. If I knew, I would not have written 650 pages. — Amy Tan (@AmyTan) March 16, 2013
5 responses to “Tweet treats”
“Adult situations” — that always made me laugh, from when I first figured out what it meant.
I had a boss once who insisted on spelling queue “que,” and it was difficult to mount a really solid argument about why that was wrong.
Lol the dictionary wasn’t a good enough argument for him?
I LOVE the ones from Shannon and Jeff. Those comment sections are infuriating and often leave me feeling so sad about the state of humanity (thankfully, on the flip side, they’re also amazing at times!).
Agreed. Humanity can be such a double-edged sword.