Self-worth, self-loathing, patience, and grace

From “Marching On” by Shreve Stockton:

I had an epiphany in the shower a couple weeks after surgery; I was sobbing – like hysterically crying – about all the things I wasn’t getting done and POOF! Epiphany. I suddenly realized just how much of my self worth was wrapped up in what I accomplished (and, of course, the inverse – how much self loathing appeared when I wasn’t accomplishing All The Things). And I have spent much of this month letting that go. Practicing patience and practicing grace – two traits that do not come naturally to me – with myself and with others. Patience is another form of will. And grace is a gift.

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4 Comments

  1. “All the things I wasn’t getting done”

    Yes, all the things that “have to” get done that don’t really have to get done. My mother taught me a lot, especially in her last years, about how some things can really be left undone, and it’s fine.

    Some things you do have to do, of course, but the Serenity Prayer should really have a fourth category, the things you can change but which are really okay the way they are.

    That way you have more time and energy for the things which really should be changed. :-)

    • “Serenity Prayer should really have a fourth category, the things you can change but which are really okay the way they are.”

      Good point! I love that idea, haha, and may have to steal it from you. ;)

  2. yogadog

    I was in Denver this week and picked up a book called “F**k it, the ultimate spiritual way.” I haven’t read it yet, but I’m guessing it’s about letting things go.

    • LOL. That sounds hilarious and wise (two of my favorite things, especially in combination).

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