For a Texan, I kicked ass

Originally I had a deep, philosophical entry planned for today, but things change. Kind of like how I went to bed early with the intention of getting eight good hours of sleep, but then Riley decided to go on a barking spree at 3 in the morning. Thanks, pup.

Today my plans — ALL OF THEM — were derailed by what I termed a “mini blizzard.” Hamilton County later termed it a “Level 3 Snow Emergency,” meaning that no cars should be out on the road, but of course that was TWO HOURS after I drove to work.

It took me 30 minutes to chip through the 1″ thick layer of ice around my car this morning. Another 10 minutes to get up the long upward sloping driveway that leads out of our complex. I got stuck behind a salt truck, who got stuck near the top of the hill, so I stayed near the middle while another car waited at the bottom. The salt truck waved me on. I attempted to drive. No go. I waved the other car on. They got all the way up to the salt truck, then had to reverse all the way back down. Everyone sort of looked at each other like, What now? So I reversed down the hill and worked up some momentum to reach the top. As I was ascending, the salt truck was coming back down and a man on the back yelled to me with some attitude: “USE YOUR FOUR WHEEL DRIVE!”

Hey, why didn’t I think of that?

Oh yeah. BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE FOUR WHEEL DRIVE, F#CKER!

Geez. I may be from Texas, but I do have a brain. Give me some credit.

I had already called both my bosses by this point, but neither picked up, so I decided I better go to work just in case. Well, I was about five minutes away from the office when one of my bosses called and told me to stay home. Uh, thanks.

Margot and Kate were already at work, and my other boss came in shortly after. The four of us hung around for a bit, then received word about the Level 3 declaration. Boss #2 let us go home, but Kate had to wait for her husband (they carpool) so Margot and I stayed with her. We baked cinnamon rolls, and that pretty much made up for coming in unnecessarily.

Driving home was slightly better, although still not great. My car got stuck while trying to park, but I was too tired to dig myself a path. Sticking out and crooked will have to do.

(That’s what she said!)

mini blizzard 004

So now I’m safe and warm at home, eating soup and wearing my Powerpuff Girls toe socks. I sound bitter and grumpy, but I’m not. (Or at least, not a lot.) I did drop the f-bomb more times today than I have in like six weeks combined, but that was mostly for dramatic effect. Truth is, I’m rather proud of myself. Like the title says, for a Texan, I kicked ass today.

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15 Comments

  1. Aisha

    Hahaha omg I need to stop bitching about the cold it’s nothing like it is there.

  2. Alex

    Go you!

    (*mini freak-out about the fact that I’m going to move to a place with lots of snow*)

  3. Les

    How does your poor Jeep not have 4wd?
    I don’t think I could live in CO without it, call me bad but I adore my SUV.

    • Les’s recent blog post: Model behavior

  4. Aisha-
    Yeah, I have to admit, I’ve become a weather snob. Whenever I hear someone else complain, I’m like, Oh really, did you grow up in Houston heat/humidity? Or, Oh yeah, did you spend 30 min freezing your butt off while you thawed your car? :P

    Alex-
    Lol soon I’ll be saying, Go you! You’ll be fine. And at least you can knit yourself lots of warm stuff! (Maybe start working on a car cover…)

    Les-
    Well, I think because it’s from Texas, where you only need 4wd if you work on a farm, which I do not. Believe me, next car I buy, assuming I’m still up north, will have it.

  5. really, really thick snow.Wow.

    • andhari’s recent blog post: Chilly and Random

  6. Yup. And I realized I probably wouldn’t be able to UN-park my car by myself tomorrow, so I tried to do it tonight. Thank goodness one of my neighbors came to help me!

  7. You had an adventure!!! Those are always good learning experiences, I hear. Make good stories. *nonods*

  8. I don’t of any of this first hand. But I feel for you. I like the photo, nice visual.

    • phhhst’s recent blog post: Then, Lucky Me, I’m off to the Opera

  9. Liz

    Amen girl… I think you did great! I HATE driving in stuff like that.

    • Liz’s recent blog post: Spring on the Inside

  10. sam

    do you go to Kenyon? i just put two and two together and i have a cousin that attends that school. she is nearly as cool as me, too! :)

    what an idiot saying that to you. maybe he assumed that because you drove a jeep that it had four wheel drive. that’s what he gets for assuming!

    and bad riley for waking you up! harley does this thing where my alarm goes off and he whines and barks until i get up. no snooze for me!

    • sam’s recent blog post: bleh.

  11. phhhst and Liz-
    Thanks!

    Sam-
    Oh no, sorry for the confusion. I live and work in Cincinnati, but the Kenyon Review (lit mag out of Kenyon) runs a workshop for writers every summer.

    Apparently up here Jeeps do come with 4wd as standard?? I had no idea, haha. But yes, generally speaking, “when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME.” :P

    Aw, Harley. Riley is getting good about sleeping in. I think he had hyper-protective instincts going since Andy was away on a business trip…

  12. I’m just going to say… snow sucks.

    • Annie’s recent blog post: My latest music obsession: The Thrills

  13. For serious!

    Except that it can be so pretty…

  14. Mary

    I bet snow is more fun when it’s unusual in your city, and everything completely shuts down until it’s turned into at least slush. As long as you’ve stocked your fridge recently, that is.

    Although I didn’t really appreciate missing out on the pay (which meant missing out on holiday pay, too!)

  15. Yeah, missing out on pay = not fun. Although sometimes I think the free time is totally worth it.

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